by Julia Rabazzi
Alone is not always lonely, and
lonely is not always alone
Never have I felt more lonely than when standing in a crowd of people
to drown myself
in an imaginary world
or playing my favorite game–
pretending maybe somebody will notice me here
pretending I could gather up the courage to talk to a person besides my friend
pretending maybe I could lose all self-consciousness and just dance like nobody else is there
But I am not that person–
The person I wish I could be,
I hope I could one day be.
Instead I will stand in the corner
too scared to put myself out there,
too scared of what others will think of me
too scared of change.
Instead I will stand all alone surrounded by people
Where I am at my loneliest.